my phone needs a breathalizer
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
