dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
