Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
