her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
