I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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