i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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