Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
