i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
