I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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