just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
