I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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