i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
