they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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