..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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