he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
