every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
