i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
