puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
