My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
