On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
