Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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