She's JV to your varsity
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize