I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
