i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
