You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
