my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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