I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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