Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I puked a lego.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
