Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
