I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
