Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
