so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
