wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
