Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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