I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
