I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
