You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
