I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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