wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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