Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
