Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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