I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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