yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize