I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
