She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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