careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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