Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
