I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
And then my night got REAL pukey
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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