I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
