One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
