Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have post one night stand depression
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
