she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
