My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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