I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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