you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
