The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
