My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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