I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This is my gift to your gina
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize