I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That accounts for only three of the penises
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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