Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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